"Snow"
by Iliana Beltzer
When it snows I think of you, the icy chill that the winter invokes, the pain is invigorating. Long lost memories of you that I can't seem to find but I'm waiting for them to find me. You are the morning air that I breathe and the crunch of the thin ice beneath my feet. I look but you're nowhere to be found, maybe you're hiding in plain sight. If I look up to the heavens, will I see you?
Where have you gone? I don't see you anymore, I didn't believe it when they said you were gone, but then again why would they lie? A billion glass shards hurdle down as a hot knife is shoved through my heart but I brushed the heartache off like a child brushes off dirt from their hands. Every bridge we ever built, you just burnt them down. I thought you learned from the last time: drugs are not toys.
I told you to stop playing with toys, or you would regret it. Was it cold, was it worth the high? It makes me sad but I will not sit and shed tears for the fallen angel because the wings are for you to rise above. How is it going tell me what death is like, was heaven meant for you? Do you miss me because I miss you?
I remembered my dad used to say "you will see me again one day, you know how I know?" "no." "spoiler alert-we all die." Sometimes I scream but no matter how loud I scream nobody can hear me. I am voiceless just like my father. His demons danced with mine and mine danced with his.
Sometimes when the sun goes to sleep, the moon takes over having her place in the darkness, I look up at the stars, I know you are one of them. Where are you now or were you only imaginary? "But what is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and lives?"
by Iliana Beltzer
When it snows I think of you, the icy chill that the winter invokes, the pain is invigorating. Long lost memories of you that I can't seem to find but I'm waiting for them to find me. You are the morning air that I breathe and the crunch of the thin ice beneath my feet. I look but you're nowhere to be found, maybe you're hiding in plain sight. If I look up to the heavens, will I see you?
Where have you gone? I don't see you anymore, I didn't believe it when they said you were gone, but then again why would they lie? A billion glass shards hurdle down as a hot knife is shoved through my heart but I brushed the heartache off like a child brushes off dirt from their hands. Every bridge we ever built, you just burnt them down. I thought you learned from the last time: drugs are not toys.
I told you to stop playing with toys, or you would regret it. Was it cold, was it worth the high? It makes me sad but I will not sit and shed tears for the fallen angel because the wings are for you to rise above. How is it going tell me what death is like, was heaven meant for you? Do you miss me because I miss you?
I remembered my dad used to say "you will see me again one day, you know how I know?" "no." "spoiler alert-we all die." Sometimes I scream but no matter how loud I scream nobody can hear me. I am voiceless just like my father. His demons danced with mine and mine danced with his.
Sometimes when the sun goes to sleep, the moon takes over having her place in the darkness, I look up at the stars, I know you are one of them. Where are you now or were you only imaginary? "But what is stronger than the human heart which shatters over and over and lives?"